love stuffs.

No boyfriend since birth. Is it something to be proud of? Oh well, it depends on every person. In my case, I'm not proud nor ashamed. I just don't really care. Haha.

I'm already in my young adulthood years. And according to Erik Erikson's psychosocial theory, my developmental task now is supposed to be Intimacy vs. Isolation. Like, it is in these years wherein I must be giving a damn in looking for someone to be with or try to establish a relationship where I can grow up and mature, or else, I'll end up being alone. Is that really all? Well, honestly, I don't feel like my age. I don't know. As what I've mentioned before, seems like I'm stuck in my teenage years. I don't know if I'm already mature enough to handle a relationship if ever I'm going to have one. I never experienced being courted by a guy. So when the time comes, it would certainly feel weird.. Like now, just thinking of that idea makes me feel weird. I don't know why.. Haha..

Am I ready to have a boyfriend? Maybe..maybe not. I can say that I'm ready to love, but not too ready to get hurt. Ready to be with someone, but not too ready to STAY with someone.. Ready to have the "kilig" feeling or moments, but not too ready with the idea of until when will it stay that way.. So, in short, I feel ambivalent when I think about these things. I don't know what the hell happened right now that I just feel like writing about this. Was it because of the quesadillas that I've eaten a while ago? Is there such connection? Hahaha..

Hmm. Actually, if ever I'm going to have my first boyfriend, I want him to be the man that I'm going to marry someday. I believe we were all made to be with someone. So, no matter how many years it will take, time and destiny would connive for you to be together. I'm not sure for my case but I do hope that when the right time comes, our hearts will finally intertwine.

Ugh, enough of the mushy stuffs that I'm talking about. Haha..Let's just skip to another part.. the idea of a dream guy..Honestly, I want someone who is intelligent. Actually, that's the first thing that I'm looking for in a guy. It's really a major turn off to talk with someone who doesn't make any sense at all even he's the most gorgeous male in town. I still prefer someone who is sensible..Someone taller than me?.. Someone with a good personality.. Clean and decent outfit..Someone who smells good..(haha.. duh?!! who wants to be with someone who stink like a fish right? hehe..)..and of course, someone who is good-looking. nyahaha..

Well, despite of that, I know, some of the standards that I've mentioned were a little bit technical. But taking away all of that, I want someone who would sing for me and brush my hair with his fingertips while i rest my head on his shoulder., manage to crack a corny joke just to make me smile.. someone who would make me feel loved simply by his actions.. someone who would accept all of my flaws wholeheartedly.. someone who would make me feel safe, and wouldn't give me any reason to doubt.. and someone who would always be proud of me to be his..

i just hope that SOMEONE is really out there for me. let's just wait and see.
I promise to always remain hopeful that someday, I will finally be with SOMEONE. :)