what's new?

i got lazy to update my blog again! haha.. oh well..ok ok. i'll do it now.it's time to share some news.

hmm. where will I start? .....Ah! I've enjoyed our duty today. I was the head nurse. At first I thought it was going to be stressful, but it wasn't really much as I expected. Everything went well. I just felt a lil sad because our next duty will be our last since our group will be reshuffled. huhu..T_T.. I dunno. I already felt comfortable with my groupmates that's why it's hard to adjust to a new group again. I just hope everything will be okay in time.

Oh..yesterday, I was supposed to go out but I didn't because it was raining hard. That's why I just stayed at home. I was happy to read the email of my former favorite students, Kyla and Sophie. I miss them soooo much....

Then today, ate made some reservation for our Hongkong trip on September. even though it's a long wait, it's worth the long time because at least I have something to look forward to after finishing my ER module. It's time for me to relax and enjoy! I've waited for this to happen so I really really can't wait!!! Hihihi ^_____^

So far, that's all I can share.. hmm.. yep. update you soon anyway! :P

what now?

I think I'm in a point in my life right now wherein I'm trying to figure out what i really want to do in life. I dunno if I'm happy with what I'm doing now. It's hard to be, if in the first place, I've never really wanted to be here after all. I don't want to regret that I took up Nursing, but I just can't help it. But then again, if only given a chance, I want to pursue it to Medicine. But too bad, I don't have someone to support me. So, it's nearly close to impossible. But I'm still not losing hope. If it is really my destiny, then it will definitely happen no matter what.

i survived!

3 successful insertions! ^_^ i love it!
even though this day was really tiring, twas okay.
my feet are just really aching so much. i really need a foot spa. i mean..
I BADLY NEED IT! T_T

anyway..i need to take a rest now.
ugh. i miss my LIFE!!! i miss my friends. i miss going out. i miss everything!
until when am i gonna feel this way?

still the same.

i wasn't able to make a post yesterday because of too much exhaustion. it was our first day on the morning shift. what's even worse is i wasn't able to sleep all night. ugh. i really that kind of feeling. anyway, good thing i was just at the supply area. we went home at around 9:10 already and i was really soooo hungry that's why i decided to eat my dinner at chowking first. then after that, i went home.

i woke up this morning at around 2pm already. what a long sleep i had! haha.. then at around 4pm, i decided to go out. i bought some meds, then i went to SM. ordered mexican quesadillas at Don Hen. after eating merienda with kuya and carlo, i went home.

now,i'm recording a video of Hey Soul Sister. love this songggg!!! :)

last.

I couldn't remember if I was able to make a post yesterday. Did I? lol.. anyway, last night was our last duty for the night shift. good thing it wasn't really that exhausting because there were only few patients around, except of course at the medical area. i was happy because i was able to make 2 successful insertions last night. weee!! i want moreeeee! hahaha.. i really want to master that skill so that i can also prevent multiple insertions with just one patient. i know how it feels so it's really not cool to insert the iv needle twice or thrice..or sometimes, even more. anyway,it was fun. after our duty, we had a bite at 7/11, then after that, i went to bayanihan first to buy a belt bag. even though it was 200pesos, i bought it because of its color. hot pink. hehe. then after that, i went to the market to buy shoes. i was able to buy a white crocs-alike. lol..for only 140pesos. good deal.:)

tomorrow would be the start of our morning duty. i hope that everything goes well. i hope our group will improve more. no more issues. no more scandals. haha. sounds like showbiz. anyway, i really am praying that no more problems will occur. i don't want our group to be dissolved. no no no ..

nothing special.

i hate it when it always seems to be like this. everything seems to be ordinary. like i just live in a day for nothing. no inspiration. no goal. wtf. i can't go on this way forever. waaaaaaaaaaaah. huhuhu.

like what i've said on my facebook status, maybe all i need is an inspiration. it's so hard for me to motivate myself that's why i have to get it from the outside. huhuhu. i really really hate this point in my life. how i wish i can go back to yesterday where life seems to be so easy even though i'm surrounded with problems. unlike now wherein i feel like i'm stuck on ground zero.

i badly need help from someone.

HOT!

I can really feel the summer heat now. seems like it's getting hotter and hotter everyday. ugh. i hate it!hmm. right now, i just feel irritated because of the weather. i don't have anything special to share. i want to go swimming!!! oh puhlease.. get me out of this burning place! T_T

anyway, it's already around 3pm in the afternoon and i think i need to get ready now for my duty later. but before going to the hospital,i think i'll drop by at SM first.
hoping for a not-too-toxic-and-stressful duty tonight.

ok. catch ya later then. :)

what i want.

I want an iPHONE!waaah! i really wanna have one right now, but the price is just too much. it's too expensive. with that amount of money, i can already buy a lot of things. haay. when can i ever buy that? huhu. all of a sudden, i want to work again so that i can save money. T_T

I also want to go to Hongkong! I want a real vacation. just want to unwind for a moment..far from the familiar place i've always been, and try to discover another country and learn more about their culture. actually, i'm planning to do that this year. hopefully, i can finally fulfill this long-time plan.

I want to take a diet.haha. It's not only that I want to but I also need it. but with the schedule that I have right now, it's too close to impossible. but i won't give up. i'll see to it that i can still make this one happen.

i want to color my hair red! get a new hairstyle. put on some heavy eyeliner. change the way i dress. i dunno. i just feel like it. i want a new look!

what else? hmm..
i think what i also want is an inspiration.

hmmm..

oh NO!

i don't know what the hell is happening. seeing the news on TV makes me feel really frustrated. whoever wins this election, i do hope that he can really lead the Filipinos well, and give hope to the very hopeless situation of the Philippines.actually,I'm kinda surprised with my own reaction. I don't know why I'm making such a big fuss when I really hate talking about dirty politics. It's just only now that I'm giving a damn about it. maybe because, i'm so sick and tired of seeing the poor condition of my country. It's just so sad to think that the potential of the Philippines to prosper is being taken away by the selfish motives and intentions of other people, and also, the powerlessness of others to fight for their rights and live a good life. anyway, I hope i won't lose the strand of hope that I'm holding in my hand for my country. It is just too beautiful to see it go down.

manic monday.

it's krispy kreme day! :)

Actually, this day is a very important event for the Philippines since it's the first time that we'll be having the automated elections. So, now I regret for not being able to take part of this another milestone in history since I'm not a registered voter, YET! Grr. Anyway, I do hope that whoever wins in this election would really be deserving of the position. I hope this time, people will choose a leader who can really lead his people and his country to success. I pray that the Philippines won't be in a sinking ship anymore. Hopefully.. ^^

Hmm.. anyway, 'twas my duty again last night and I was assigned at the OB-GYNE unit. I don't wanna be assigned there ever again..!Ugh.. It's so stressful. Hmm. Maybe because it was my first time to be assigned there so I really dunno what to do at first. I was so lost! But at least, I'm still lucky because there were more patients there in the past few days. Actually, the ER seems to be at rest last night because there were not much patients. Does the liquor ban has anything to do with that? Hmm.. Maybe. :) I hope the liquor ban will be implemented all year round! Haha..
And oh, it was our first time to finish at around 8 o'clock! What a great achievement for our group last night. I hope it will always be that way. Hehe.

After our duty, the eight of us in our group decided to eat breakfast somewhere. So, we went to Volante and ordered 2 14" pizza. So delicious! Hihi. When I arrived at home, there were lots of pasalubong from Pampanga brought by Kuya.Then,kuya Brian also bought me a box of Krispy kremes! Wihihi.. It's raining sweets, but I still need to watch out for the calories of course. Hehehe..

Anyway.. I think I won't be going out today. So I guess I'll just laze out at home. ^_~

love stuffs.

No boyfriend since birth. Is it something to be proud of? Oh well, it depends on every person. In my case, I'm not proud nor ashamed. I just don't really care. Haha.

I'm already in my young adulthood years. And according to Erik Erikson's psychosocial theory, my developmental task now is supposed to be Intimacy vs. Isolation. Like, it is in these years wherein I must be giving a damn in looking for someone to be with or try to establish a relationship where I can grow up and mature, or else, I'll end up being alone. Is that really all? Well, honestly, I don't feel like my age. I don't know. As what I've mentioned before, seems like I'm stuck in my teenage years. I don't know if I'm already mature enough to handle a relationship if ever I'm going to have one. I never experienced being courted by a guy. So when the time comes, it would certainly feel weird.. Like now, just thinking of that idea makes me feel weird. I don't know why.. Haha..

Am I ready to have a boyfriend? Maybe..maybe not. I can say that I'm ready to love, but not too ready to get hurt. Ready to be with someone, but not too ready to STAY with someone.. Ready to have the "kilig" feeling or moments, but not too ready with the idea of until when will it stay that way.. So, in short, I feel ambivalent when I think about these things. I don't know what the hell happened right now that I just feel like writing about this. Was it because of the quesadillas that I've eaten a while ago? Is there such connection? Hahaha..

Hmm. Actually, if ever I'm going to have my first boyfriend, I want him to be the man that I'm going to marry someday. I believe we were all made to be with someone. So, no matter how many years it will take, time and destiny would connive for you to be together. I'm not sure for my case but I do hope that when the right time comes, our hearts will finally intertwine.

Ugh, enough of the mushy stuffs that I'm talking about. Haha..Let's just skip to another part.. the idea of a dream guy..Honestly, I want someone who is intelligent. Actually, that's the first thing that I'm looking for in a guy. It's really a major turn off to talk with someone who doesn't make any sense at all even he's the most gorgeous male in town. I still prefer someone who is sensible..Someone taller than me?.. Someone with a good personality.. Clean and decent outfit..Someone who smells good..(haha.. duh?!! who wants to be with someone who stink like a fish right? hehe..)..and of course, someone who is good-looking. nyahaha..

Well, despite of that, I know, some of the standards that I've mentioned were a little bit technical. But taking away all of that, I want someone who would sing for me and brush my hair with his fingertips while i rest my head on his shoulder., manage to crack a corny joke just to make me smile.. someone who would make me feel loved simply by his actions.. someone who would accept all of my flaws wholeheartedly.. someone who would make me feel safe, and wouldn't give me any reason to doubt.. and someone who would always be proud of me to be his..

i just hope that SOMEONE is really out there for me. let's just wait and see.
I promise to always remain hopeful that someday, I will finally be with SOMEONE. :)

pizza and movie date with ate

Last night, I was assigned again at the medical area. actually, i was supposed to be at the surgery unit but i switched places with my groupmate since i'm more familiar with the things being done at the medical unit. so there.

surprisingly, compared with our last duty, there were fewer patients last night. and to think it was Friday wherein it is expected that patients would flood again there.but,it didn't really happen. anyway, nothing's new. still the same routine. everytime i do some skills, i feel good at myself because it seems like i'm getting better and better. well, that's what i think. haha. i also wasn't bored because i've enjoyed talking with the students who were also assigned at the medical unit. they were both from the US. really such a big relief when students are there. :) on the other hand, i feel irritated when i deal with patients who are really "demanding". and whenever i encounter those kind of patients, i just keep in mind that i already am a professional, so i must also act in a professional manner. anyway, we again left the ER at around 9:30, and after that, I went to lola's house to get ate gwynn's padala for me. she gave me 3 pairs of shoes. two are for me, while the other pair, i'll give 'em to Carlo since they're not really my size but his. i lurv the white pair, and i'ma use it for duty. :)

anyway, ate and i just got home. we left the house past 7, then, we ate dinner at Don Hen. I sooo love the mexican quesadilla! So beefy..and very tasty.. It was worth the price. :) then after dinner, we watched Iron man 2. Finally!!! I was able to see it! I super love it! though there were some point wherein it was a bit boring, the end part took it all away. i loved the fight scenes.. and i want moreeee! haha.. looking forward on the 3rd movie. but of course, i know i need to wait for ages again before it will come out. anyway, it's okay since there are a lot of good movies waiting on the line. i'm so excited to watch Prince of Persia, which i believe would be released by the end of this month. and also, the sorcerer's apprentice.. the last airbender.. eclipse.. inception..and a whole lot more! weee..! :) i can't wait to see em all..

and oh, it's mothers' day tomorrow. Planning to make a video for mom. Wherever she is right now, i hope she can hear me. Love you mommy! You are what i want to be. I'll forever tell the world how great you are. Hugs and kisses! :)

can i?...

i'm sooo in the mood to make a song right now.. but then, i still can't decide on what song i'm gonna make or what lyrics 'm gonna write. happy? sad? love song? waaaah! i already have a melody in mind, but no matter how i try to think of the words i want to say, nothing comes out. arghhh.... am i having a composer's block? is there such thing? haha.. i bet there is, and i'm having it right now. i do hope before i'll go to my duty later, i can finish even just one song. please.please. please. it's been a while since i last made a song so i think i've rested my musical mind too much that i find it difficult now to make a new one. huh.! frustrating..

hmm.. last night, as i was browsing the wall posts of my friends in facebook,i saw the pictures of janice, in HK. wow. i admire her for being brave enough to travel alone. actually, i'm planning to try that too. i also want to try visiting another country alone. sounds fun right? anyway, i'll think about it. i just hope that i wouldn't only have the courage to do that, but also, the money to go there. haha.. hmm.. this year maybe? who knows. :)

anyway, it's past 1pm and only few hours to go before another exhausting duty begins. i do hope tonight's duty would be more fun that the previous ones. i also hope to learn more. i know i will. ^_^

=)

hmm.i just noticed. it seems that our duty becomes more and more exhausting as days go by. haha. i dunno what's happening. Anyway, last night, I was assigned at the triage area. all i had to do was to get the basic information of the patients and to take their vital signs. it was a boring area for me because for the past 2 duties, i was at the medical unit. i still prefer being busy rather than doing nothing because you wouldn't notice the time passin by when you have a lot of things to do. anyway, it's a good thing that there were students again who were having their duty. it feels good giving orders. hahaha.. there were also a lot of stab wound cases last night, and the victims were minors. ugh. kid stuff. fraternities. gangs.. i feel bad for the parents of these children. what the hell are they doing with their lives? and what the hell do they think they can get from doing these things? it's not really as cool as they think that it is. really such a headache. i hope they'll just grow up!..

hmm..what else.. oh, kuya and carlo went home to pampanga last night so my sis and I are left at home. she bought me some bread, which is called "pag-ibig". i suddenly missed Kaye. she used to buy me this bread when we were in 2nd year high school. we were seatmates back then and there was one time that she brought this bread and offered it to me. I liked it, but then there was no bakery near us who sells this bread, so, whenever she would buy this bread at the bakery near their house, she would also make baon for me. hehe :) ooh. i miss high school. how i wish i can go back in time. :( i feel so nostalgic again..

and oh... no duty tonight. weeeee!

here comes another day.

just bought a new phone today. nokia 5530. actually, it's my first touch screen phone, and it's been a while since i've used a nokia phone so i'm still adjusting to it. but no need for me to worry because nokia is more user-friendly than samsung..(i guess. hehe). anyway, i really have no plans of buying a phone but since my brother is going home to pampanga, and he doesn't have a presentable phone to bring, haha, so i agreed that he's gonna buy my phone while i'm gonna buy a new one. anyway, i'ma just gonna be extra careful with this one since it's more expensive than my old phone, and i bought it with my own savings so i really need to take care of it.

a while ago, i went to pines city doctors hospital coz i was supposed to submit my requirements for IVT certification, but then the chief nurse is not around because she's on leave. ugh. maybe ill just come back tomorrow, or on Friday. I hope I can finish this up already because the expiration of my iv training is at the end of this month. waaah! I don't wanna put my cases into waste. T_T

anyway, it's already almost 4pm and i think i need to get ready now for my duty. I'm planning to munch some fast food first before going on duty. I'm craving for pizza! waah. but i need to cut down my expenses since I haven't received my allowance yet, so I'ma just go to Mc Donald's. i miss cheeseburger anyways. weee! time to hit off. !

sad feet.

My duty last night was even more exhausting compared to the first one. There were a lot of patients that were needed to be attended to. My feet hurt so bad that I couldn't even walk straight. I badly need a foot massage! Huhu..I was assigned again at the medical area which was the busiest part of the ER,so I had no time to take a rest again. Good thing that there were students who were having their duty. They're really a big help most especially when it comes to vital signs taking and the ER blotter.

Anyway, there's nothing really special that I can share today. I have no plans of going out. Well, I can still change my mind. It's only 3:22 pm. Let's just see what's gonna happen later. Hehe. but for now, I think I'll just surf the net till I have no more sites to visit. ;p

It all starts today.

I've been planning to do this a long time ago, but laziness always seem to attract me that's why I always reason out that I'm too busy to write when in fact, I still own my time. Anyway, here we go.

So, what am I going to write for my first entry? Honestly, I don't know. What a way to start a blog. Having a writer's block. Haha. I just got up so it seems like my brain's not yet on its optimum functioning.

Oh well, I had another weird dream last night. My hair was color blue. Cool right? I've always wanted to color it blue but of course, I'm not that kind of attention seeker. I don't want that all the people that I bump to on the streets would keep on looking at me. I'm not a punk-wannabe either. I dunno. I just like blue. Aside from that, I'm also keeping an eye on red, or red-orange..just like Haley's hair.( I'm talkin about the lead singer of Paramore).. I just don't know if it would fit my complexion so I'm still thinking if I'd just keep it as a dream. Haha.

Anyway, enough of the hair talk. Oooh. I'd be having a duty again tonight. My second duty at the ER as a fellow. I know it would be very exhausting again. I hope I'll have all the energy to stay awake all night. Oh well, do I have a choice? I cannot really sleep at the emergency room, can I? Hehehe. Hope everything's well tonight.

and I just remembered, I haven't watched Iron Man yet. Waaaah... I need to watch it this week! Really...I NEED TO!!!...T_T