About you again?

I think I'm in the mood to write today. It's my third blog for the day and I don't care. I guess I just missed writing.

Anyway. As much as I avoid writing something about him, I just couldn't help it.
There's a part of me that wants to see him. Talk to him. You know, just to clear things out. There are a lot of questions hanging in my head. And sometimes, they just drive me insane. All I need are answers from him. I want to understand why what happened, happened. But I guess, all he can give me is silence.

There's also a part of me that doesn't want to see him ever again, nor talk to him.
Really. There are those moments that whenever I think about him, I don't even know what to feel. Sometimes, it makes me angry, but sometimes, it also breaks my heart knowing we're not friends anymore.

There's another part that's also hoping that he would make an effort or find time to talk to me. Explain his side. Tell me his side of the story. Coz if I'm really that important to him, he would move mountains to get us back in each other's life again. But, I don't see any effort. That's the problem. He never went out there to fight for me. For us. For our friendship. He just watched them all drift away. He let go of me. That's what I couldn't accept. THat's how I felt that's why, even up to now, I still couldn't move on completely. He let go of me. That only man I have loved didn't fight for me. That really sucks big time.

I don't know if our paths would cross again. But anyway, if it will, then, ah, eh, I don't know what to do. Haha. I don't know if I could even afford to say hi, or even smile at him. Well, come what may. Let's see what happens.