Why?

They say that sometimes, it's not the person you miss, but the feeling you had when you were with them. But whyyyyyyy. Why do I still miss you every day? Why can't I forget you? Why can't I not be completely okay? Why do I keep on hurting? Why can't I move on from what happened to us? Why can't I just accept the fact that everything's changed and it will never go back to how it used to be? Why do you keep on crossing my mind every day? Why can't I just erase all the memories we had so that nothing will remind me of you anymore? Why can't I do it? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Damn you. Damn you for making me feel this way. It's almost a year. Funny how our lives are completely different now. Waaaay different compared to when we still have each other in our lives.

Soberday. :)

Today, after work, Kaye and I invaded Millete's house. Hihihi. We had a great time singing all the songs we like since the videoke was unlimited. We also drank 2 bottles of Vodka Cruiser..haha..which by the way just tasted like soda. Played with Aji,and enjoyed all afternoon laughing. It was indeed a great day. It always feels good to spend time once in a while with your great friends.:)

Again.

I'm doing it again. I'm waiting. expecting.
Ugh. I hate it! When will I ever learn to stop and just let things happen?
Why can't I control myself most especially when I like someone?
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I hate this feeling. That's why I always get disappointed,
coz I do it over and over again.
Puhleaseeee!!!
I'm afraid to get hurt again.:(

About you again?

I think I'm in the mood to write today. It's my third blog for the day and I don't care. I guess I just missed writing.

Anyway. As much as I avoid writing something about him, I just couldn't help it.
There's a part of me that wants to see him. Talk to him. You know, just to clear things out. There are a lot of questions hanging in my head. And sometimes, they just drive me insane. All I need are answers from him. I want to understand why what happened, happened. But I guess, all he can give me is silence.

There's also a part of me that doesn't want to see him ever again, nor talk to him.
Really. There are those moments that whenever I think about him, I don't even know what to feel. Sometimes, it makes me angry, but sometimes, it also breaks my heart knowing we're not friends anymore.

There's another part that's also hoping that he would make an effort or find time to talk to me. Explain his side. Tell me his side of the story. Coz if I'm really that important to him, he would move mountains to get us back in each other's life again. But, I don't see any effort. That's the problem. He never went out there to fight for me. For us. For our friendship. He just watched them all drift away. He let go of me. That's what I couldn't accept. THat's how I felt that's why, even up to now, I still couldn't move on completely. He let go of me. That only man I have loved didn't fight for me. That really sucks big time.

I don't know if our paths would cross again. But anyway, if it will, then, ah, eh, I don't know what to do. Haha. I don't know if I could even afford to say hi, or even smile at him. Well, come what may. Let's see what happens.

Something stupid.

It was only today that I realized, blocking someone on Facebook also removes them from your friends' list. Thus, unfriending them automatically. Wahahah! Oh man. It only goes to show, I was the one who unfriended you. Dang. When all this time, I thought, you were the one who erased me from your list. How stupid could I be. Ughhh. And to think, I was that upset before coz I thought you unfriended me, only to realize now, it was my fault why I was removed from your friends' list. And that's because, I blocked you before. Hahahahahahhahaha. Gosh. Now, all I could do is to laugh at my stupid mistake.
I wonder how you felt when you found out were not friends anymore on Facebook.
Well, it's okay with me, since we're not really friends anymore even in real life. So, what's the big deal right?

Update.

Well, last Wednesday, I had the chance to be on TV again. hehe.
Actually, I didn't really expect it would be that fast, coz Ingrid just told me that I would sing again on the show on Monday night. At first, I didn't want to. Coz I wasn't prepared,like, I didn't have any song to sing yet, and no clothes to wear. lol. But then, I realized that, why not? I already sang on TV before, so why not do it again right? It's not that bad to share your talent to everyone. So there,I agreed, even though I was alone and had no guitarist with me.

I decided to sing "To be with you". And good thing, when I went shopping at ukay ukay a day before my TV guesting, I saw a shirt that fits me really well, and even matches my scarf. So, with my rubber shoe-heels,guitar, and confidence, I appeared on TV once again.

I get flattered when people tell me they saw me on TV. Hehe. Not that I'm dreaming to be that popular, but it feels good when people recognize you and your talent. So there. :) Happy me!:)

Aha. Yesterday, I finally had the chance to meet my crush. WAAAAH! Hahahaha.
And guess what he told me?
"Pwede pa-autograph? Napanood kasi kita sa TV the other day."
I almost fainted!Hahahahahahaha... I didn't expect he would wake up that early to see me. Anyway, I was happy. really happy. :) He's so cute! ^___^
I hope I could see him again. And get the chance to know him more. :)))))

Okay. that's all for now. Need to go back to work again and compute the grades of my students for the 3rd grading. Oh man. I'm so lazzzzy...

What's on my mind today.

Just because someone doesn't love you doesn't mean you have to forget all the other people who do. you see, sometimes ,we put too much time and effort making one person like us, not noticing the others who are willing to love us even without doing anything.

So, if a person treats you like trash, it's time to throw them away in your life. Don't waste that space to someone who doesn't see your worth, when in fact, you can alot that place to a person who realize your value.

Life's just like that. Not everyone we love will also love as back, or love us as much as we love them. Sometimes, we couldn't do anything but just face it and deal with it.

Never think you're alone, coz it happens to everyone anyway.

My day!

Last Thursday was one of my memorable birthdays ever. My pre-birthday wish was fulfilled, which was to have a children's party. I was really really happy! It's one of the days I'll never forget.

Even months before my birthday, I've already been thinking throwing a party in school. And even before I worked in Remnant, I really wanted to have a children's party. But luckily, I was given the job as a school nurse, so having a children's party is not that impossible at all.

But there was one problem. After the Christmas vacation, I only had maybe around 800 pesos as my salary because I didn't go to work for two weeks to enjoy the holidays. So I was thinking, how can I have a grand party if I didn't have the money? I really prayed so hard for a blessing to arrive days before my birthday so that I can prepare.

So a week before my birthday, I sent Tita Jude a message and gave her some recent updates about the happenings in our lives, about my work, etc. And I really jumped out of joy when I read her reply. She sent me money as a birthday present. I was totally relieved. I told myself, "Now, I can make it happen!".

A week before my birthday, I was busy looking for some food to prepare in school, and at the same time, working on my budget. I didn't care if I'm gonna spend all of the money that Tita Jude sent me. For me, it was more than money. It was creating another moment to remember. And so, finally, I was ready.

Even days before my birthday, my dear students were already greeting me, and giving me balloons. I was really touched. They're very sweet. Who could resist those little darlings? :)

And so, my birthday came. Wearing my beautiful dress and boots, I went to work with a big smile on my face.When I arrived, the whole school greeted me. Every one whom I came across with, greeted me a Happy Birthday! I felt really special on that day. Before lunch, the parents and teachers helped me prepare the food. And after singing the birthday song, making a birthday wish and blowing my birthday candles, we distributed the food to all of the students. Everyone was invited to my party since there was a lot of food. After that, many students gave me a birthday card which they personally made. Some of them gave me a present. And T.Fred,T.Clyde,and T.Murphy gave me two bottles of wine. Oh, even Seoyoung, who was my student before, sent me a birthday package which I received a day before my birthday. She gave me a birthday card, two pair of really cute socks and a hairpin.

After work, the three boys drove me home. Then, Ate bought me a chocolate cake.

Even my facebook wall was flooded with birthday greetings from all of the people close to my heart. The day after my birthday, some students gave me letters and one parent even made a blueberry cheesecake for me. It was really soooo delicious! My dear pareng Kaye also gave me a box of crema de fruta.

It was really one of my most unforgettable birthdays ever. I felt all the love in the world. I'm so thankful to everyone who made me really special and feel appreciated during that day. I would always relive those moments. Even my students' messages on their birthday cards that they gave me made me teary-eyed. It feels so good knowing how much they love me as much as I love them. I'm truly blessed to have all these people around me who love and care for me.

As I've said in my status post in Facebook, I really Thank the Lord for another year that He has given me to continue living, loving and learning.

I'm ready to face another year in my life. Whatever challenges are there, I know I'm ready to face them all.

Gosh. But I still can't believe I'm already 23. Coz it seems like, I'm stuck with my teenage years. Hahahaha ^_^

Anyway, age is just a number right?. :D

First in 2012

OMG. Sorry. I forgot again. Haha.
OKay, I told you I'll try to update my blog everyday right?So yeah..

In the morning of New Year's Eve, I traveled alone to Pampanga at 3:30 and arrived there at 9AM. I took a rest, played with Hal, shared stories with Ate Flei and Ate Tam, then ate spaghetti and salad for dinner. Before midnight, Ate Gale arrived with Ampung and Bibing. We then lit up the fountain..After that, since I was so tired, I slept at past midnight.

Jan 1,2012 was our reunion. Everyone arrived after lunch. Then Kuya Jet and Ate Lei arrived with Baby Miggy. I was so excited to see my little pamangkin! Weee. There were lots of food on the table that I couldn't help myself but eat too much again. Then around 3pm, Tito Rodel came to fetch Kuya Jet and he told me to come with them. I spent the night at the Gopez Residence. Ate a lot again. BTW, I loveeeed eating the sherbet! I missed it coz there's none in Baguio. I almost consumed all of it. Haha. Good thing I was able to control myself. :)

In the morning, I played with Bebe Miggy, ate delicious breakfast, then sang almost 50 songs.. Yeah. no kidding. maybe even more than 50 songs in Magic Sing. Good thing my voice was in good condition that I could sing all of the songs that I like.

At around 2:30, Kuya Jet, Kuya Aaron and I headed to Sta.Lucia to get my stuff. I bid short goodbye to Maw,Bapa,Ching Tam, the two boys and Hal. Before we went to Robinson's, we dropped by first at Aurely's to buy pasalubong.

When we arrived at Robinson's, I was about to get hopeless coz there were lots of passengers waiting for a bus.I thought I couldn't get a bus, but good thing the guy from Victory reassured that a bus going to Baguio is coming. And so we waited.

When the bus arrived, it was full, but I had no choice so I rode in. From Robinson's to Tarlac, I was on my feet. But it was okay for me since I already got used to being on my feet for a long time. Talk about ER experience.lol. I was surprised and touched when the man beside me offered his seat. That was when I realize the such people still exist! Haha. Coz I thought I was gonna be standing all the time. So there. I arrived in Baguio at past 11, then at 12mn, I dozed off.

Today, I was so early in school. Good thing! Coz when I arrived at the clinic, it was really a mess. At least I had spare time to clean up for a bit. Oh. I really missed everyone in Remnant. Honestly..most especially the kids. They really have a special spot in my heart so not being able to see them for two weeks made me really miss them. After work, I got my salary. I really thought that I wouldn't be getting any, coz I didn't go to work for two weeks. But God is good. At least, I still received just enough amount to get me by until my next payday.Haha.

On my way home, together with the three boys, we went to SM and accompanied T.Murphy in paying the internet bill at Smart. Then after that,I went to Skyworld and looked for a jacket since it's really getting cold nowadays, but had no luck in looking for a design I like. T_T Anyway, after that, I went home.

Now, it's around 10 pm and I'm feeling a little sleepy. Maybe I'll go to bed in an hour. After this blog, I'll just fix my clothes that I'm gonna be wearing for tomorrow's work. Ok. Ta-ta for now! See you later aligator! :)