Why?

They say that sometimes, it's not the person you miss, but the feeling you had when you were with them. But whyyyyyyy. Why do I still miss you every day? Why can't I forget you? Why can't I not be completely okay? Why do I keep on hurting? Why can't I move on from what happened to us? Why can't I just accept the fact that everything's changed and it will never go back to how it used to be? Why do you keep on crossing my mind every day? Why can't I just erase all the memories we had so that nothing will remind me of you anymore? Why can't I do it? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Damn you. Damn you for making me feel this way. It's almost a year. Funny how our lives are completely different now. Waaaay different compared to when we still have each other in our lives.

Soberday. :)

Today, after work, Kaye and I invaded Millete's house. Hihihi. We had a great time singing all the songs we like since the videoke was unlimited. We also drank 2 bottles of Vodka Cruiser..haha..which by the way just tasted like soda. Played with Aji,and enjoyed all afternoon laughing. It was indeed a great day. It always feels good to spend time once in a while with your great friends.:)

Again.

I'm doing it again. I'm waiting. expecting.
Ugh. I hate it! When will I ever learn to stop and just let things happen?
Why can't I control myself most especially when I like someone?
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I hate this feeling. That's why I always get disappointed,
coz I do it over and over again.
Puhleaseeee!!!
I'm afraid to get hurt again.:(

About you again?

I think I'm in the mood to write today. It's my third blog for the day and I don't care. I guess I just missed writing.

Anyway. As much as I avoid writing something about him, I just couldn't help it.
There's a part of me that wants to see him. Talk to him. You know, just to clear things out. There are a lot of questions hanging in my head. And sometimes, they just drive me insane. All I need are answers from him. I want to understand why what happened, happened. But I guess, all he can give me is silence.

There's also a part of me that doesn't want to see him ever again, nor talk to him.
Really. There are those moments that whenever I think about him, I don't even know what to feel. Sometimes, it makes me angry, but sometimes, it also breaks my heart knowing we're not friends anymore.

There's another part that's also hoping that he would make an effort or find time to talk to me. Explain his side. Tell me his side of the story. Coz if I'm really that important to him, he would move mountains to get us back in each other's life again. But, I don't see any effort. That's the problem. He never went out there to fight for me. For us. For our friendship. He just watched them all drift away. He let go of me. That's what I couldn't accept. THat's how I felt that's why, even up to now, I still couldn't move on completely. He let go of me. That only man I have loved didn't fight for me. That really sucks big time.

I don't know if our paths would cross again. But anyway, if it will, then, ah, eh, I don't know what to do. Haha. I don't know if I could even afford to say hi, or even smile at him. Well, come what may. Let's see what happens.

Something stupid.

It was only today that I realized, blocking someone on Facebook also removes them from your friends' list. Thus, unfriending them automatically. Wahahah! Oh man. It only goes to show, I was the one who unfriended you. Dang. When all this time, I thought, you were the one who erased me from your list. How stupid could I be. Ughhh. And to think, I was that upset before coz I thought you unfriended me, only to realize now, it was my fault why I was removed from your friends' list. And that's because, I blocked you before. Hahahahahahhahaha. Gosh. Now, all I could do is to laugh at my stupid mistake.
I wonder how you felt when you found out were not friends anymore on Facebook.
Well, it's okay with me, since we're not really friends anymore even in real life. So, what's the big deal right?

Update.

Well, last Wednesday, I had the chance to be on TV again. hehe.
Actually, I didn't really expect it would be that fast, coz Ingrid just told me that I would sing again on the show on Monday night. At first, I didn't want to. Coz I wasn't prepared,like, I didn't have any song to sing yet, and no clothes to wear. lol. But then, I realized that, why not? I already sang on TV before, so why not do it again right? It's not that bad to share your talent to everyone. So there,I agreed, even though I was alone and had no guitarist with me.

I decided to sing "To be with you". And good thing, when I went shopping at ukay ukay a day before my TV guesting, I saw a shirt that fits me really well, and even matches my scarf. So, with my rubber shoe-heels,guitar, and confidence, I appeared on TV once again.

I get flattered when people tell me they saw me on TV. Hehe. Not that I'm dreaming to be that popular, but it feels good when people recognize you and your talent. So there. :) Happy me!:)

Aha. Yesterday, I finally had the chance to meet my crush. WAAAAH! Hahahaha.
And guess what he told me?
"Pwede pa-autograph? Napanood kasi kita sa TV the other day."
I almost fainted!Hahahahahahaha... I didn't expect he would wake up that early to see me. Anyway, I was happy. really happy. :) He's so cute! ^___^
I hope I could see him again. And get the chance to know him more. :)))))

Okay. that's all for now. Need to go back to work again and compute the grades of my students for the 3rd grading. Oh man. I'm so lazzzzy...

What's on my mind today.

Just because someone doesn't love you doesn't mean you have to forget all the other people who do. you see, sometimes ,we put too much time and effort making one person like us, not noticing the others who are willing to love us even without doing anything.

So, if a person treats you like trash, it's time to throw them away in your life. Don't waste that space to someone who doesn't see your worth, when in fact, you can alot that place to a person who realize your value.

Life's just like that. Not everyone we love will also love as back, or love us as much as we love them. Sometimes, we couldn't do anything but just face it and deal with it.

Never think you're alone, coz it happens to everyone anyway.